6 MONTHS AGO • 10 MIN READ

It Feels Impossible

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Joyness

Joyness: a Charlotte-born newsletter helping people protect their energy, rekindle joy, and reclaim their time.

“Your breath truly is your pathway to freedom, liberation, and your divine self.” -Imoni Moneé, Charlotte business owner and our guest for this month's Joyness Conversations We're Having

What's Inside

  1. Most Times It Feels Impossible: Finding Joy in Hard Times
  2. Need Clarity? Try Joy
  3. Joyness Tip for October
  4. Conversations We're Having: Imoni Moneé
  5. October in Charlotte: Joyness Standouts
  6. Community Question

Finding Joy in Hard Times

Last month, a disturbing video circulated social media.

If you live in Charlotte, it likely came across your feed. The video didn’t offer any grace but sometimes it came with a warning–most times, not. It was the gruesome account of a woman’s final moments. Her name was Iryna Zarutska.

If you watched the video, it left a mark: sadness, anger, grief, fear, the list of emotions is endless. And just like that list, finding your way out of that morass can feel the same. That news came along with the daily historical shocking events that fill our inbox or feeds, leaving us swinging between disbelief and apathy. Since that incident last month, there have been countless other shocking events that have dominated the newscycle. Whether in Charlotte or elsewhere, every day feels like an unyielding piling of bad news that can hit deep. It can feel impossible not to let the grief become all-consuming or desensitized in an effort to protect our well-being.

However difficult, it’s important to acknowledge our emotional state and create a space that allows us to feel. That’s how we’re able to connect with ourselves and with others. That is how we honor our human experience.

Just as natural as grief is for us, so should the room to hold our well-being (or, courageously, our joy). We connected with Cyrena Wooster, a therapist in Charlotte who specializes in grief and coping skills. Our goal was to understand what it means to allow ourselves to feel deep grief and remain balanced. Here’s what she had to share:

When news or social media triggers grief, what’s a simple first step we can take to acknowledge our feelings—and what do you recommend to keep it from becoming overwhelming? "It's a common response to feel feelings of grief when being exposed to something on the news or social media. The first thing that someone can do to acknowledge their feelings is to pause and take a deep breath, do a full body check, and ask the questions, 'What am I feeling in this moment? And where am I feeling it?' Simply notice and observe without judgment. If the feeling of grief becomes overwhelming, it can be helpful to do something to reset: take a walk, call a friend, read a book. Find something to soothe your nervous system. "

It's important to remind yourself that it's possible to feel different feelings at once, even if they are conflicting feelings.

What’s one small practice you recommend for holding grief and joy together in daily life, how can we carry both without shutting down? “One of the most common misconceptions that people have is the belief that it's impossible to feel grateful and have grief at the same time. People mistakenly believe that if they are feeling grief or sadness, then they are being ungrateful. It's important to remind yourself that it's possible to feel different feelings at once, even if they are conflicting feelings. It's possible to feel both grateful for the things in your life and also sadness. It's not ‘either/or’...it's ‘and.’ We can experience grief AND appreciation at the same time.”

With the constant flood of difficult news, how can we set healthy boundaries while staying informed—and how can friends and family support someone who’s struggling with that balance? “We do have control over our exposure to difficult news. If we start to notice that we are feeling overwhelmed, we can take action to limit our exposure. We can set daily time limits on social media, or time limits to watching news. Rather than be a passive consumer, we can be a proactive consumer and choose the amount we would like to Intake. Having a sense of agency over our media consumption can give us a feeling of control in our lives.“

What is it about joy that makes it such a powerful tool in hard times—and if we feel stuck in grief or numbness, what’s one sign it’s time to reach for outside support? “Sometimes joy is difficult in hard times because we tell ourselves that we 'shouldn't' feel joy if we are also grieving. It's important to remind ourselves that we can feel both at the same time and one doesn't negate the other. It's important to reach for outside support when we start to feel hopeless and alone.”

Cyrena Wooster is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and the heart behind Grey Fern Counseling here in Charlotte. She helps people move through grief, anxiety, and life’s transitions with compassion and clarity, whether in her office or on a walk along the greenway. If you’re looking for a grounded, approachable guide to support your well-being, you can connect with her through ​Grey Fern Counseling​

Need Clarity? Try Joy

Think about the last time you were tangled in a decision, overthinking, replaying every possible outcome, scrolling for answers that are hard to find. Then out of nowhere, joy interrupts. Maybe it’s your kid doing something so silly you can’t help but laugh. Maybe it’s a song you haven’t heard in awhile that tugs you back into your body. Maybe it’s the way the early Autumn light spills through the window and makes everything golden for five whole minutes. Suddenly, the fog lifts, and you have a moment of clarity.

That’s what joy does. it doesn’t erase the hard stuff, but it clears just enough of the window so you can see what matters. It can be a flashlight in the messy closet, even while you try and figure out how to fully get organized.

Clarity isn’t about having every step mapped out. it’s about getting enough space between you and the goal to see your next step. And joy has a way of bringing that next step into focus. When you’re grounded in even a flicker of joy, the noise can quiet down.

In a moment of indecision, try this: 30-second joy scan

  1. Pause wherever you are.
  2. Notice one thing in front of you that sparks a smile or a little exhale.
  3. Sit with it for one breath longer than usual.
  4. Ask yourself: “what feels lighter now?”
    ​

It’s simple, but simple isn’t always easy. Clarity doesn’t always demand hours of journaling or a mountain retreat. Sometimes it only needs 60 seconds and a little spark of joy to show you the way forward.

Joyness Tip: Clarity Deep Dive

If you need more than a moment of joy to find clarity sometimes a good journaling session can help you get there. This Month's Joyness Tip encourages you to explore different modes of journaling. Here is a roundup of community focused journaling pop ups for you to enjoy.

Take the time to write through your feelings and find your clarity.

Joyness Conversations We're Having

Full Name: Imoni Moneé​

How would you describe yourself (either through occupation or characteristics,etc)?: A bubbly spirit who values peace and stillness, with the occasional burst of energetic, childlike fun!

Hobbies: Dancing, enjoying my personal yoga practice, hiking, finding a good candle or perfume, and creating short-form content for pleasure.

What does joy mean to you?

To me, joy means finding peace and safety in the present moment. Tapping into the small bursts of energy and fire within and allowing it to radiate throughout your entire body.

Running a business and leading a yoga practice takes a lot of decisions. What helps you gain clarity before you say yes or no?

I pray before literally every decision I make. My relationship with God is nonnegotiable.

Do you have a ritual, mantra, or physical practice that helps you cut through the noise and hear what’s true for you?

I wake up between 5-6am every morning and intentionally make it a point to not look at my phone ideally before 10am. Sometimes I only make it to 9am depending on what my schedule looks like for the day. During that 3-4 hour time span, I will have my daily devotional with prayer, journaling, and a tea meditation at the very least. Bonus points if I have time to make it to my mat to strengthen a deeper connection with my breath and inner guidance.

What’s a practice that always sparks joy for you, a song, a food, or a tradition?

Going for a drive on an open road, listening to 90s/00s R&B, Afrobeats, Jazz, or Alternative R&B, or even listening to the sounds of the world around me - with the windows or sunroof down - truly brings me so much joy. Nothing else in the world matters at that moment.

How do you help your clients create space for joy in their bodies and lives?

I help my clients create space for joy in their bodies and lives by coming back home to themselves with each breath. Your breath truly is your pathway to freedom, liberation, and your divine self. There is breath in how you use your voice, and in how you surrender both the mind and your physical body to letting go of the things that no longer serve you. Creating space for new!

How do you remind your clients (and yourself) that joy doesn’t have to be “big” to be powerful?

One of my favorite things to remind myself and my clients is that we get to choose small intentional steps towards the larger outcome, no matter what that looks like for us, on any given day. Whether that be a yoga pose or another goal.

How has the Charlotte community shaped Love Through Lotus and the way you hold space for others?

Being a part of the Charlotte community has helped me feel like I can do literally anything! The city is filled with so much charisma and individuals really going full send towards their hopes and dreams. It has been such an inspiration for me in deciding to pursue Love Through Lotus full time and has in turn allowed me to show up fully in the ways that I hold space for others. A huge part of my passion and purpose lies in encouraging others to live their human experience as authentically and as fully as possible.

What’s your hope for the Queen City when it comes to choosing joy, even in small ways?

Coming together as one through love and connection. There are so many individuals and organizations with common interests and goals. The city can truly become a force to be reckoned with if everyone came together to use each individual's strength in its fullest capacity, as opposed to individual organizations and people trying to do it all.

If you could give readers one simple, playful practice to try this month—a mantra, a pose, a ritual—what would it be?

One of my favorite playful practices to do is listening to music and performing my own concert at home. I call it the “At Home Concert Series”. I just dance, sing, and allow my body to move intuitively. Pure freedom and bliss.

October is all about mischief. Do you have a playful no you love this time of year? (Example: no to pumpkin pie, yes to sweet potato pie; no to candy corn; yes to literally anything else.)

I absolutely love the Fall season and all of the festivities it comes with. The only thing I will always say absolutely no to during this time of the year is the cold weather as it creeps in!!!!

​
​Imoni Moneé is the owner of Love Through Lotus, and a Holistic Wellness and Self Mastery Life Coach dedicated to supporting individuals on their personal healing journeys. As a 200-hour Registered Yoga Teacher and Certified Energy Healing Practitioner, she emphasizes the powerful connection between mind, body, and spirit, with a special focus on the chakra system. While Imoni is passionate about fostering self-discovery and authentic living, she strongly believes in the transformative power of collective healing and the beauty of supportive communities. Creating safe, inclusive spaces where individuals from minority groups feel seen, heard, and empowered to heal, is at the core of both Love Through Lotus and her personal mission!

Joyness Standouts

October in Charlotte

These local October events are perfect for joy filled moments:

Joyness Community Prompt

When was the last time joy showed up uninvited, right when you needed it?
Hit reply — We’ll share your answers in next month's issues (anonymously, if you want!)

Here’s to hope, clarity, and living with more joy.

Did you like this? Forward this Newsletter to someone and put a smile on their face.

In Joy,
Aubrey
​Flows Grand​

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Joyness

Joyness: a Charlotte-born newsletter helping people protect their energy, rekindle joy, and reclaim their time.

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